This journey started in tears and ended in tears, but they were of a very different kind. The first were filled with guilt, while the last overflowed with love and joy.
I bought I-Catcher with my friend Romi three and an half years ago. She was looking for a larger dressage-type horse, and I was also considering a second horse. I-Catcher had some physical challenges—kissing spine, stack behind legs, and head-shaking syndrome—but he was very sweet and beautiful horse. The moment I went to look at him with Romi, I worked some minutes in the round pen, he connected quickly and after Romi ride he was following me in freedom over the whole arena. He was too sweet and insicure to leave him out there, the vet strongly suggested not to buy him after the examination but I fell in love. Romi and I decided to share the cost and give him a chance.
When we started training, I-Catcher was skinny, stiff, and lacking muscle. I remember the sensation when I sat on him the first time, the back was hollow and it seems so fragile. He was tense, resistant, and leaned heavily on the bit, but his elegance and potential shone through when he released tension from his body.
Over time, I took over his training because of Romi lack of time and many more other horses to train, and I combined groundwork and riding in synergy to improve his physical condition. He did tremendous progress, got more muscles and fluid in his movements, but also more energetic and stronger, and there he started to show his fire also on groundwork.
With the start of the winter it became more demanding to ride him, also when lots was going on around us, his reactions sometimes were too much for me to handle and especially all that tension he would build up all over the ride. It was in the same time when I was dealing with post-concussion syndrome, which of course didn’t make me feel really safe. I kept facing the situation in the best I could for the horse, often simply switching to groundwork where I could handle way more than under saddle. In spring, I decided to get more tools to help this horse become emotionally more fit with some Parelli method, I wanted him more relaxed under saddle and following the rider in changing direction easier and lighter. Guided by the level 3 Parelli instructor Aniek Pieterse, I wanted to work on rebuild our confidence and focus on his mental state. By summer’s end, we had developed a beautiful connection, and I could ride him in loose reins also in new places with many things going on around us. I needed to reprogram my skills which were blurried out from the post concussion and to learn how to read better my horse in different circumstances.
Just as our journey was gaining momentum, my dream mare, Chenoa, entered my life. And at the same time a spot into my dream school (the EDL) was open and I got the possibility to show myself. That would have mean to focus on the training of my new mare to prepare my presentation in the school. Having three horses in training full time is not easy especially when you have a job and a full life. I had to make a tough decision: I couldn’t give I-Catcher the time and attention he deserved. And here when the first tears started to come. I felt I had to let go of him and all the promises I made to him. The trust he put in my hands and heart, he opened to me and gave him so much. I was heart broken but at the same time I felt he deserved more time which I could not give him anymore. When we decide with the heart often we get stack into guilt feelings, we feel selfish somehow. I choose Chenoa over him that was a fact. And I had to admit to myself that this was what I truly wanted for me, despite the incredible love I had for him.
The mindset had to shift then, instead of being stack into old patterns I had the chance to embrace the joy of a new opportunity and feel grateful for everything that Catcher had taught me, he was not an easy horse to ride, both mentally and technically, I had the great help of my teachers and I could get him to the point I was looking for. The process wasn’t complete but I did achieve a lot with him. It was time to find someone who wanted to learn some lightness and experience the purity of connection, he was definitely capable to teach that.
With Romi we thought to find a skilled rider who would like to embark into a learning process of horsemanship and classical training and could continue I-Catcher’s journey. And there when Odile crossed my path—a sweet and dedicated rider eager to learn. The time arrived to introduce Catcher to another person, when I worked with her I put all my effort to let her know him as much as possible. Starting groundwork with a very sensitive horse it is not easy at all, your thoughts are constantly read through and if you aren’t aware you get easily confused. Moreover, Cacther became very light at the pressure of rope halter, body language and energy so you needed to be very aware of yourself in order to do it, or he would not do or overreact :) So, Odile had quite an intense first lesson, where she probably felt how much she had to discover about herself. I wished I didn’t scare her too much and she would choose to continue the journey with me.
Few days later she texted to say she wanted to continue. Thus began a new chapter for all three of us.
The process was intense, there was lots of groundwork especially along the strong winter time, where Catchy suffers the most, and to understand how to find the connection not only with the horse but actually within yourself. As instructor I also had to do my work, stay in my own feet and try to understand what was going on in the situation so to help both the horse and the rider. Often even though the pressures were applied correctly and the body was coherent things would not go as aspected and when I was taking over the horse would change instantly, so I had to tune with Odile feelings and try to help her find the answer within herself. Odile was brave and she was committed, even though it was hard at times. Facing ourselves so deeply is often complicated. On top of it the technique and skills need to be taught so it is a complex training.
However, the three of us grew along, me as instructor to teach not only techniques but also the feel and ways to read the horse, Odile as student learning new skills and go through vulnerabilities and insecurities, and Catcher as student horse learning more self confidence and relaxation and at the same time teaching Odile what he already knew well. We all learned a lot and I had the privilege of guiding Odile and I-Catcher through a transformative process. Yet, by working together, they built an extraordinary bond based on trust and mutual understanding. In time, we could introduce more technical aspects under saddle, maintaining I-Catcher calm and connected, which it is not a simple thing.
Odile learned to embrace her emotions, and in doing so, helped I-Catcher overcome his insecurities. Watching their connection deepen was like witnessing a dance—graceful, intuitive, and full of heart. By the final months, they moved together effortlessly, and I was a proud spectator of their progress. Odile joined also an EDL clinic of Nicolò a few months ago and everyone was impressed of this couple. Compliments also from the master teacher were very welcomed and I felt an incredible proud within myself.
Horses have an incredible ability to teach us to confront our vulnerabilities. They don’t judge; they simply show us how to accept ourselves as we are. Through this journey, I witnessed the power of that lesson in both Odile and I-Catcher.
As Odile embarks on her next adventure in life buying a house a bit too far away from us, I wish her all the best. Her time with I-Catcher has left her with not only new skills and insights as rider but also lifelong connections—both human and equine.
Me and I-Catcher will continue our journey with other students, to keep his training routine and attentions, and who knows what will come on our way.
Enjoy below a short video with some moments of Catchy and Odile.
Stay tune for the next blog to come!
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